Girl Boner by August McLaughlin

Author:August McLaughlin
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: General Fiction
Publisher: PublishDrive
Published: 2018-06-07T16:00:00+00:00

HOW TO TALK TO YOUR PARTNER ABOUT YOUR STI

Once you learn you have an STI, it’s important to share the information with your recent and current sexual partner(s). While there’s no ideal approach for everyone, knowing a few basic guidelines can help make a potentially stressful situation more manageable.

Take more deep breaths and know you’re not alone. It’s natural to experience stress and anxiety around discussing your STI with a partner—and like many important conversations, it’s unlikely to be a breeze. (“Hey, babe. Want a sandwich? And by the way, I have chlamydia.” And . . . next topic!) So first off, do your best to relax and keep things in perspective. People around the world are likely going through the exact same thing—health and conversation-wise—along with you. “It’s not an easy conversation to have, and it can be terrifying for many of us,” said Hodder. “We don’t know how our partner might react, and the fear of that unknown can feel heavier than the STI diagnosis itself.”

Make sure you have the facts. Before talking to a partner about your STI, get all the facts you can from your healthcare provider. Sites such as Planned Parenthood or STDcheck.com can also be helpful. You could even bring a brochure or print out an FAQ from a quality resource that outlines the basics, such as symptoms and treatment.

Have the conversation sooner than later. The longer you wait to discuss your STI with a partner, the tougher doing so is likely to become. Not only does fear fester, but keeping the information from your partner raises all sorts of risks, from health complications to more spreading of the infection. If they’ve acquired the STI as well, you don’t want to delay any needed treatment. They should also have the chance to decide for themselves, and with you, how to navigate safety measures as you move forward.

Thoughtfully plan and practice. Disclosing your STI status right before or during sexy play, or around loads of distraction, isn’t ideal. “This is not a conversation you want to have in the car on your way to a party or after you’ve already begun getting naked,” said Manta, who suggests having the conversation before the first kiss. “Many people don’t have any knowledge or awareness around STIs, [so] they may not know whether or not kissing is a risky behavior for that particular STI, and it feels lousy to see [the other person’s] panicked expression as they try to figure out if they’ve been exposed.” Manta uses a method she learned from a fellow sex educator with all new partners, which involves sharing the last time you were tested and for what, the test results, any relationship agreements you have, your safer sex barrier needs, and things you like and dislike. “The key is to practice, whether you use a formula for your talk or not,” she added. “The more you say it out loud, the easier it is to say.”

Talk with compassion.

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